1st Blog Post: Well…This is Me

Hi. My name’s Katya Castaneda and I guess an introduction is long over due considering my actual first (and used to be only) blog post was published last September. If you’ve seen me in real life, I would just like to say that you shouldn’t let my resting bitch face scare you, I’m actually a nice person.

Or, well, I try to be. I like to think that I’m amiable, someone that could be considered a good friend, but I’m also painfully awkward. If someone doesn’t take control of the conversation, I clam up and turn to my phone for entertainment.

Introductions are the worst because I’ve never really been good at talking about myself because, frankly, I don’t think anyone would really want to get to know me. I’m not exactly the most exciting person. I’m not being humble, honest, I’m just… well… boring.

All I ever do is stay home.

I spend most, if not all, of my time in front of my laptop reading, watching videos, or scrolling down Pinterest and/or Tumblr. Sometimes I’m on Facebook but only to check for school announcements and to watch animal videos. I’m a sucker for those.

I want to say that I also spend my free time writing and drawing but unfortunately that’s not true. The most I’ve done this year was jot down scrambled ideas and doodle. My passion for the arts just isn’t the same as it was back in high school, sad to say.

Don’t think that I don’t try though. I really do. I want to be able to write and draw just like I used to. When I find the time, I look for new books to read or revisit books that I have loved. I find that doing this helps me remember the reason why I told myself that I was going to be an author one day.

I’ve recently read “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom and I guess it’s safe to say that he has become one of my favorite authors. I had read “Tuesdays with Morrie” about a year or so ago and I remembered why I liked his works. His stories killed me. His words grabbed hold of my soul, pulled it out of my body and threw it around my room before slamming it back into me.

That’s what I want my work to do to my readers in the future. I want my stories to destroy them (in a good way, of course.)

When I think about the stories that I want to write, I pay close attention to my characters and what they look like. When I was younger, instead of writing down a scene that I’ve picture in my head, I would draw it. I found that it was easier to to get attached to my story if I could physically see it.

Back in the day, I had imagined myself to be a manga artist rather than an author because it was so much easier for me to draw than to write. Some days I find myself wondering if I could still pursue that dream except I would draw for comic books or cartoons. Artists like Inkydandy and Gabriel Picolo make me want to pick up a pencil and paper and hone my drawing skills once more. I like the cartoonish look their characters have because I find their anatomy more attractive. I often visit their social media accounts and look over their artworks to see if I can draw inspiration from them. Most days I’m just jealous of what they can do.

I think it’s hard for me to write and draw because I depend a lot on being in the “zone” but what puts me in the “zone” varies from time to time. There are moments where I have to be listening to music in order to write and/or draw (Nina Nesbitt, Halsey and Marina and the Diamonds are artists who usually put me in a creative mood because of the melody and lyrics of their songs) but there are also times wherein complete silence is what I need to work. I try to keep a notebook with me at all times just in case the urge to write hits me but sometimes I find that it’s easier to type my thoughts out. I talk to myself a lot when I’m writing. I pace and jump around my room. I try to be the character I’m thinking about. It’s a mess. It’s hard to get into the “zone” but it’s incredibly easy to get out of it.

Basically, if I’m in the mood to do something, I do something.

Unfortunately, I’m hardly ever in the mood to do something.

Like I said, I’m boring.

If I’m something other than boring, I’m indifferent, passive. I have a very blasé attitude and it has caused me to be in the dark about a lot of things. I try to be unconcerned with a lot of things and sometimes my lack of concern bothers me. If I have to be concerned about something, it’s the fact that I’m unconcerned. I’m bothered by the fact that I’m not bothered at all, if that makes any sense.

So yeah, that’s me. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me, I guess.

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